So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
