I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
