I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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