i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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