Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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