That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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