Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
