how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
