I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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