I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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