vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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