I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
