you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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