thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize