I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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