To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
