i just google imaged poop.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize