I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
