so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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