The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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