Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
