Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
