I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
