you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
