i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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