Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
