A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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