I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
accomplished twins. life is a go
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
