I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
