i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
