remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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