fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
