okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
