Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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