I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
