i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
