dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
