i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
