One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
