We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
