dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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