he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
