Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
