before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
