you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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