can u get pink eye on your cock?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
