I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
