Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
