Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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