Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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