so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
