this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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