The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We had to coat check the pizza.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
