Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
