I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
