The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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