just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
