I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
