Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
