I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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