I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
