I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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