I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
